Rain
by Miss SunnySunshine
Summary: It was raining when she came into his life. It was raining when she had become his life. Follow Conan as he relieved past events that he could associate with the rain (and with her). The rain that determined his fate - their fates. A ten-years-later CoAi fic.


**DISCLAIMER**: Detective Conan belongs to the rightful owner Gosho Aoyama. I do not claim ownership of the anime/manga's characters used in my story. Other than that - the story and setting are fictitious and are products of the author's imagination. Any semblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

**Author's Note**: Narration in _italics_ are 'memories' or flashback (or flashfic) and are written in past tense. Narration in regular format are in present tense. I apologize in advance for any spelling/grammatical errors. Also, this does not follow the recent developments in the manga (e.g. Shinichi and Ran's relationship). Moreover, I just want to tell you all that I love the Conan x Ai and Shinichi x Shiho pairings. My OTP!

* * *

**RAIN**

The weather forecast says there will be zero percent chance of rain today, but the rumbling of thunder and the occasional lightning flashes that early evening say otherwise. Not long after the series of flashes illuminates the night, droplets of water start to pelt from the sky and into the grounds of the busy Beika City streets. A bespectacled boy, aged 17, merely sighs in resignation and resumes walking. No use fretting over getting wet. He will still be soaked with rainwater no matter what he will do.

Hands in his pants' front pockets, Edogawa Conan walks leisurely as if the sky is not crying fat drops of tears onto him. At times like this, his mind will usually be on overdrive. Thoughts, ranging from the most trivial things to the most mysterious ones and even to past events, will fill his mind. The lattermost is the case for him at the moment.

The rain always reminds him of several incidents of the past. Perhaps the one of the most unforgettable ones is that one time about eight years prior. He has just turned nine years old then as Edogawa Conan, and 19 as Kudo Shinichi. He has been living as his alter ego Conan for two years then, with Kudo Shinichi's fame slowly fading into the background as time passes without any news from him and about him. There has been no major breakthrough for the permanent antidote of the poison that shrunk him either, but at the very least they have found a major lead that will potentially lead to the downfall of the Black Organization.

He stops walking on the paved sidewalk, and with eyes closed, tilts his head up to face the rain, droplet after droplet touching his pale face. Conan remembers that one rainy night that almost took _their_ lives. _Her_ life.

-0-

_There were gunshots and explosions heard from a distance. It was the climax of the confrontation with the organization that ruined so many people's lives. From Conan's peripheral vision, a mixture of men in uniform and men in black were fighting each other, some were lying unconsciously on the ground, others were chasing someone one way or another, and the minority were fleeing the scene. It was chaotic, his surroundings, yet his focus was directed solely to one particular man. Edogawa Conan was face to face with a certain silver-haired member of the organization by the code name of Gin, his hands firmly holding a revolver aimed at the latter._

"_Well, well, if it isn't the famous high school detective Kudo Shinichi," Gin leered, eyes menacing as always. "Or perhaps grade schooler is the right term, hm?" The taunting smirk plastered on his face was anything but nice._

"_Shut up, Gin! Where is _she_?" Conan asked seriously, voice firm. The hands that were holding the gun was steady, it should be steady as what his father taught years ago. "Where is Miyano?"_

"_You mean Sherry?" Suddenly, Gin cackled maniacally for a while, as if the very question was absurd it made him laugh. When he calmed down, he had a knowing look and a smirk that would make you think he knew something that Conan did not. "Where do you think, Great Detective?"_

_At the implication of his words, Conan's mind went blank. Then he imagine the worst of the worse scenarios that could happen. Before he knew what he was doing, he had fired the gun. The bullet had only grazed Gin's cheek, but that was enough to trigger the inner beast in him._

"_How dare you shoot me, you imbecile!" And then Gin started firing shots one after the other. Conan, thanks to his reflexes, were able to dodge them but only barely. On his last shot, due to exhaustion from running around and fighting for hours, Conan was a second too late to move. For a moment there, time seemed to slow down for him and he could almost see the bullet moving towards him at an insane speed. Despite the alarm that his brain had told him, his body would not move. From across him, several meters away, he could hear Gin's evil laughter resonating loudly amongst the varied sounds of chaos from around them._

"_Kudo-kun!" was all he heard before he was pushed harshly to side. The unmistakable sound of bullet hitting flesh was clear in his ears, and he looked for the source because it wasn't him who was hit. His eyes widened upon seeing the lump of a woman with strawberry blonde hair on the ground just about a meter away from him, blood dripping from her left shoulder._

-0-

As if waking up from a nightmare, Conan opens his eyes and gasps, taking in the much needed air that his lungs need. It's not like he is running a marathon, but his breaths are short and quick as if he has done just like that. He frowns at the memory. He hates what happened then. Sure, they have successfully taken down the organization. However, the means to achieve such a feat has been anything but great. _She _almost died then. If she has been a second – no, a millisecond – late in moving, the bullet would have hit her straight to her heart. That very thought makes his stomach churn and heart ache at the possibility. Flashes of everything they have done together, all the arguments and banters and collaborations on cases, flash in his mind. No, he can never let this girl go. Not on his watch, not ever.

When he calms down a bit, Conan looks around and sees several people walking past him with umbrellas on their hands, covering them from the downpour. He doesn't have any, but it's the least of his concern at the moment. He lets out an audible sigh and resumes what he is doing – walking. He is still ways away from his destination, his home, yet he takes his time wandering – his thoughts also wandering with him.

Suddenly, another memory resurfaces itself at the forefront of his mind. It is also raining then, and just like now, he is also drenched.

-0-

_He took the temporary pill that would make him Kudo Shinichi again. Only this time, this one last time. _

_Just mere moments ago, he talked with Mouri Ran, his childhood friend and love. He could not think of any place to convene so he asked her to meet him at the huge cherry blossom tree at Teitan High where they used to eat lunch together. It was not raining then, but the dark clouds above them promised heavy rain later._

_He and Ran met. He talked. He apologized. He told her he might not come back again. He told her not to wait for him anymore. He told her to be happy, without him this time. Ran cried. Ran tried to salvage their relationship, or at least what was left of it (if there was even one to begin with). Ran was torn, was broken, was distressed. And it was because of him. _

_He would never forget the anguish he saw in her eyes._

_And then she left._

_And he was left there, merely watching the spot where she stood just moments before. He felt like he had not apologized enough. He had not even hugged her one last time, nor saw her smile for him one last time (not that he expected her to smile during such a painful meeting). Just then, the rain suddenly poured down onto him and onto the grounds. It was as if the world cried for him, cried the tears he could not shed. He had let go of his first love, and it was the most painful feeling he ever felt yet._

_For a while he just stood there, face down and hands tightly clenched at his sides. He let the rain soak him, hoping that it would also remove the hurt he was feeling. _

_Suddenly, a pair of pale, thin arms wound themselves around his neck, hugging him tightly as if afraid of letting go. His eyes widened with surprise at the contact, but when he saw strawberry blonde hair, he relaxed. _

_So _she_ had taken the temporary antidote too even though she did not like it. Only this time, this one important time. The thought warmed him, and so, he hugged her back. He wrapped his arms around her slim waist, so tight._

"_I'm sorry, Kudo-kun. I am so, so sorry," _she_ kept repeating, like a broken record. Was she crying? He didn't know. Her voice was muffled but even then, she still sounded broken._

_She was blaming herself. She thought it was her fault. But no, it was not. It was not hers nor his fault. If anything, it was the Black Organization's fault. So she should stop condemning herself._

"_Don't," he croaked. His voice was raw and broken. From what, he was not sure. All he knew was that his throat was tight much like how his heart was aching from letting go of his first love and from feeling the pain that this woman in his arms were also having. "Please don't apologize."_

_He hugged her tightly. And they stayed like that until the cold was too much to bear._

-0-

Even now, years later, Conan can still feel pain at remembering how her voice sounds broken back then. Thinking back on it, he feels more pain for her than for himself. _She_ has tortured herself for what happened to him for a while after that. No matter how many times he tells her that it isn't her fault, she still blames herself. For years, she has blamed herself. As compensation, she thinks she has to work on completing the permanent antidote day and night.

-0-

_It was late afternoon, one spring day __when they were 12-year-old pre-teens the second time around. The Detective Boys had just parted ways at the intersection, and now it was only her and him walking side by side on their way home._

_Not long after that heart-breaking moment with Ran some years ago, Conan had moved back to his own home, the Kudo western-styled house. With Ran away for college, not to mention the awkward feeling he got whenever he was with her, he devised a rather convincing plan of being adopted by the Kudo couple – his _real_ parents, mind you – because Edogawa Conan's imaginary parents seemingly died in a car crash on their way to get him. It was quite an ordeal, but in the end they managed to avoid suspicions from the people around them._

_So being neighbours now, _she_ and Conan would usually walk home together after school. On some days, they would talk about the most random things that kids their age should not be discussing. Sometimes they would argue over the most trivial things. On peaceful days like today, they would simply walk side by side in silence, merely blending in with the crowd of people in the busy streets of Beika City, admiring the beautiful sunset as they pass by the riverbank, and smiling at the faces of happy families, couples and children in the nearby park. There was no awkward feeling, no tension, no whatsoever. It was just two adults in kids' bodies enjoying each other's company._

_Conan had his bag slung on one of his shoulders, the other hand carrying an umbrella, which he shared with a certain little scientist, to shield them from the light rain shower. Beside him, there she was, her strawberry blonde hair that had now reached past her shoulders was swaying gently along with the wind, and her shoulder touching his. Her hands were holding the handle of her school bag in front of her, and she faced the direction of the sunset by the river with a soft smile. The light rain had not stopped the sun from showing itself as it set down the horizon. He swore he could also hear her humming to a familiar tune, which he later associated with the newest band that she and Ayumi had been gushing over lately. _

_Looking closely at her, he also noted the way her eyes droop a little, as well as the bags under her eyes. Despite the radiance she was emitting, with her smile and the beautiful rainy sunset background enhancing her pretty features, he could see the weary expression that she tried to keep from him all these time._

_He frowned. "You've been working on the antidote again." It was not a question._

_She turned to face him, surprise evident on her face at the sudden start of conversation, but she quickly masked it with a neutral expression. "No, I have been watching dramas last night. I did notice the time and had only a few hours of sleep," she said casually, and resumed watching the sunset._

"_I never mentioned about you sleeping late though, nor you being tired."_

"_But you implied. Working on the antidote means overworking myself in your dictionary, Kudo-kun," she glanced at him from the corner of her eyes. He just rolled his at the mention of his birth surname._

"_I told you not to call me that anymore. Besides, that's not the basis for my reasoning."_

"_Then _Edogawa-kun_" she emphasized his new last name, scowling a little at his insistence. "Pray tell, what makes you think I've been working on the antidote again?"_

"_This morning, when I went to fetch you –"_

"_You mean when you came to eat breakfast," she deadpanned. He merely grinned. It had been a routine already. He would stop by the Professor's house to pick her up so they could walk to school together. Of course, he would take his chance and eat breakfast with them. It was not all the time that he get to eat home-cooked meals, especially since he was not a great cook himself and especially meals made by none other than her._

_He waved her off, "Small details." She rolled her eyes, which was a habit that he later learned to emulate. "Anyway, like I said, this morning, you woke up later than usual and you came from the basement."_

_She raised an eyebrow, as if silently asking him 'that's it?'. Conan swore sometimes this woman thought of him as stupid. "Well, how does that equate to me working on the antidote again? I sleep at the basement every now and then."_

_He smirked and she frowned. He knew she hated that smirk when it was directed to her. It only meant he knew something she did not. "Hm, yeah. Funny though, if you really were watching dramas last night – which by the way, isn't your cup of tea," he raised a knowing eyebrow at her. " – would you have been wearing your lab gown then? I doubt you would be wearing it on ordinary days."_

_The miniscule widening of her eyes told Conan that he had hit bull's eye. If at all possible, his smirked stretched even more. He got her this time. _

"_Wha-" She stammered, but she masked it with a fake cough. She reasoned, "I've been working on a new research, Edogawa-kun."_

"_I thought you said you were watching dramas?" She looked like she wanted to erase the annoying smirk on his face, and the very thought amused Conan even more. He did not want to admit it to her, but he liked having to annoy her like this._

_She glared at him, and sighed in resignation. "If I had told you that, you would have nagged on me again for hours on end. That would be a pain."_

_This time, Conan's smirk fell and his expression turned serious again. Forehead creased in a frown, he said, "I already told you to forget about the antidote. If you're working on it for me, then stop. I don't need it anymore. I have already decided to continue living as Edogawa Conan, you know that."_

_She glanced at him briefly before looking away again. Her hands tightly clenching the handles of her bag. "I'm not doing this for you." Which was a total lie, he knew. After years of knowing this woman, Conan had learned of her little quirks. She tended to hold something tightly when she lied. It did not have to be a bag, it could be her phone or her pen, anything she was holding at the moment. And she would also never look him in the eye._

"_Need I remind you that you collapsed because of fatigue not long ago?"_

_Yes, she collapsed two months ago. For several days prior to her fainting episode, she worked in her laboratory at the basement, losing the much needed sleep for the body of a twelve-year-old like hers and exhausting herself to her limit. Since then, Conan had been uneasy. The thought of her getting sick, of her getting hurt, did not sit well on him. The thought of losing her was too much that he could not even bring himself to think of the possibility. He had promised her of his protection. He would never let something bad happen to her. Not again. That day, when she woke up at the hospital, he felt a mixture of relief and anger for the woman who was driving him crazy of worry. But it was more of the former and of something of which he could not quite figure out yet then._

_The woman beside him did not respond, and silence engulfed them once more. It was then that Conan started to truly think about her. This was something he had been forestalling until then. He realized that_ she_ had always been there for him. During the confrontation with the organization, that time at Teitan High with Ran, and in all of his dangerous cases – she had been there. At first, he had hated her. However, he didn't know when but some time in their time together he started trusting her._

_He stole a glance at her from the corner of his eyes. He could see again the soft, delicate smile on her face. With the warm hues of sunset and the light shower of rain against her figure, she looked ethereal to him. A beauty like none other. Why had he only noticed this? At the back of his mind he knew she was pretty. Beautiful even. Yet now, he had fully acknowledged the fact. _She_ was beautiful, inside and out._

_As if sensing his sideways stare, she turned again to face him, an annoyed look marring her face. Gone was the smile she had just moments before, but she still looked heavenly in his eyes. "What?" she asked._

_He just smirked. A sudden realization hit him. Now he knew why she was driving him crazy, why he worried for her so much, why he got mad at her that day she collapsed, and why he felt so relieved that she woke up just fine. He knew now why he could not bear the thought of her gone. He knew now. He might have known it all along, but now he finally conceded._

"_Nothing," he said, showing her his boyish grin that, he vowed to himself, he would only reserve for her. "Let's go, I'm hungry." And he held her hand and started dragging her to the direction of their houses. She was surprised at the sudden gesture from him, yet she had not pulled away. He walked side by side with her, this time holding her hand tightly in his._

_To Edogawa Conan – even to Kudo Shinichi – matters of the heart was not really his strong point._

-0-

He smiles at the memory. It is a precious one. One that he will never forget for the rest of his life as Edogawa Conan. It is the catalyst that changed his perception of _her_ and ultimately their relationship as well.

He breaks out from his musings when he suddenly bumps into someone's shoulder. Without looking at the person, he slightly bows his head and mutters an apology. He then resumes his wandering under the moderate rainfall.

For a while, he is smiling to himself, thinking about the good and bad times he has had with _her_ – _when he got sick in third year junior high and she had taken good care of him, when they fought over what to buy for the professor's birthday gift (she got to choose in the end), when Ayumi confessed to him and he turned her down (she was mad at him for hurting her and proceeded to ignore him for a week), when he asked her out for dinner on her birthday (he told her the Detective Boys were busy with club, but really, he never even asked them. He got in trouble after she knew the truth, but she smiled and thanked him nonetheless), when she stayed and waited for him at the bleachers while he tried out for the soccer team, _and so on. He can't count the many times they have bonded over almost everything for the last 10 years and he is eternally grateful for all these memories.

Eventually, his ruminations lead him to that one particular case. Smile now gone, his heart clenches even at just the recollection of it. The actual incident is far worse, he thinks he could have died of a broken heart.

-0-

_Many of Edogawa Conan's cases deal with only a simple deduction and then the culprit would be handcuffed to jail. In few of them, he had to chase down a criminal or cautiously look for them based on the clues he had gathered. This time, it was a little bit of both._

_He had just solved the mystery behind a serial killing in Osaka – it was originally solely Hattori's case, but when Conan and the rest of the Detective Boys with Professor Agasa came impulsively to the Osakan boy's hometown, all of them somehow got tangled in the mess._

_However, as soon as Hattori and Conan's deduction speech finished, the culprit – who was a former track and field national athlete – fled the crime scene. Of course, the two detectives were quick on their feet and were tailing the culprit who was shoving people who were on his way. The culprit was fast. Nonetheless, they were able to corner him at an alley, a dead end. What they did not anticipate though was for the culprit to carry a weapon with him. And for the Detective Boys to follow._

_Anyway, Hattori and Conan were talking with the culprit, pressuring him into submitting himself to the police, when he suddenly pulled out a gun hidden in his jacket's inside pockets. Without missing a beat, he had fired the gun. At Conan's direction. And Conan could only watch in shock. He was frozen on the spot. Not even Hattori made a move, also surprised at the sudden turn of events. To the people in the scene, time seemed to stop. Conan could hear Ayumi, Genta and Mitsuhiko's frantic call for his name._

_Suddenly, it felt like déjà vu for him. It felt like it had happened before too. Long ago._

_Right, this happened with Gin too when they took down the organization. Time seemingly stopped then, as was the case now. Like then, he also swore that he could see the bullet came out from the gun and towards him. And just like then, his brain seemed to have stopped functioning as well. He could not move even when he told himself to. He stood frozen, eyes wide, and heart beating like crazy. Would this be the end of him now?_

_Ah, he thought, this might be it. Conceding to his supposedly inevitable fate, he closed his eyes, ready to feel the pain of getting shot by a gun._

_But it never came._

_Instead, he could feel himself being pushed away by someone. And just like that time with Gin, he could see a mop of strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes wide in desperation to save him, and a painful cry of "Conan!" coming out from her lips._

_It was _her_. She had saved him again. She had pushed him again, away from the bullet. She taken the pain, which was supposed to be his to take. Again. She had sacrificed herself again for him. Why must she do this? Why?!_

Her_. His love. His partner. His Ai._

_Haibara Ai was shot to her chest. He had seen the bullet hit her chest. He had seen her being pushed back a little from the bullet's impact. He had seen her fall to the ground like heavy baggage. He had seen her bleed from her wound. He had seen it all with his very own eyes, in front of his very own person. He had felt his heart break at the sight of her helpless body on the ground._

_He also swore that before she hit the pavement and before she closed her eyes, she had given him a soft, endearing smile. A smile that – despite being sweet and was directed only to him – was painful for him to watch._

_In a heartbeat, he was beside her. For the first time in a while, he didn't know what to do. He couldn't even think of a basic first aid treatment. He just sat there helplessly, holding her limp body close to him. In an instant, his front was covered with blood, her blood. And for the first time in a while, he had wished it was him in her place. That it was him who was shot instead. He should have known she would pull such a heroic act for him. That was how she had always been._

"_Ai, please," Conan croaked, his throat dry and tight from suppressed sobs. "Please, please stay with me. You can't just leave me like this. You can't. Please." Conan pleaded. He was desperate. He was tearing up._

_From the background, Conan could hear Hattori shouting commands – to call the police, to call an ambulance, to put pressure on her wound while waiting for rescue to come, to get his grip together. The last one, Conan was not sure whether it was directed to him or to the culprit. All he knew was that, he needed to get a grip of his senses too._

"_C-Conan," Haibara Ai rasped. She was having a hard time breathing. Her eyes were droopy and her face was becoming paler. She had lost so much blood now. When she opened her eyes just slightly and was looking at him, his attention was all hers. When she reached a weak hand to his face, he readily took it with his own and caressed it with his face._

"_That's it, Ai. Don't close your eyes. Don't sleep. Look at me. Help will arrive soon." He was distraught. It was evident in his tone of voice. He didn't care though. He wanted her alive. "Stay with me please."_

"_Thank you, Meitantei-san," she managed to say. He would have rolled his eyes if not for the dire situation they were in. This weak girl in his arms actually had the nerve to smirk at him still, albeit a weak one._

"_No, no, no. You can thank me later. Don't waste your breath talking. Just, please, don't close your eyes." His heart was thudding painfully in his chest. She was getting weaker. Where the hell was the ambulance?_

_Haibara Ai merely smiled at him. That same sweet smile reserved only for him. She weakly rubbed her thumb on his cheek, and then she smiled one last time before she closed her eyes and the hand in Conan's clasp became limp._

"_Ai!" He exclaimed, frantic. "No, Ai! Wake up!" He was now lightly slapping her cheeks to keep her awake, to no avail. "No, no, no, no!" He repeated. This time, tears were freely flowing down his cheeks. He did not care what other people would think of him. He was hurting. _

_Conan was openly sobbing and crying while holding her limp hand and helpless body closer to him. "I love you," he whispered only to her. To his Ai. "I love you, please come back to me."_

_After that, he was whisked away by the paramedics. He watched as they gently placed her body to the stretcher and into the white car. He watched with clouded vision as tears continued to fall from his eyes one after the other. He watched as Ayumi hugged him for comfort, as Genta and Mitsuhiko cried with him, and as Hattori patted him on the shoulder._

_He would never forget the smile she gave him. It would be forever engraved in his heart._

_It started raining then, and along with his clothes, his heart was also soaked – not with water but with pain._

-0-

Edogawa Conan stops in his stride and takes a deep breath to calm himself. It still hurts him. It will forever hurt him.

In his deep musings, he hasn't noticed that he is now at the park near his home. The same park where he and Ai used to pass by on their way to and from school.

It is cold. He is drenched from head to toe. He is cold, but he doesn't mind for his own mind was filled with so many things, including her. Mostly her.

Despite the continuous downpour, he decides to stay at the park. He unceremoniously flops himself down to the bench, and places his arms at its backrest. He carefully leans his head back on it as well, facing the cloud-filled crying sky. He closes his eyes for a moment, savouring the peace and quiet while feeling the pelting of the rain on his face.

He doesn't know how long he stayed like that. For a moment, he even thought he had succumbed to a state of unconsciousness. However, when his mind and body suddenly registers the fact that he is no longer being touched by raindrops, he knows his senses are alert. He also knows it is still raining if the sound of water hitting wet ground is of any indication. Frowning, he opens his eyes and what faces him made him smile.

There she is, looming over him from behind the bench while carrying a dark blue umbrella, a soft, sweet smile on her face.

"Thinking again?" she asks, he nods. "A penny for your thoughts then?"

Conan merely smiles, that same smile only for her. "I love you," he says.

Ai chuckles at his response. "I see. A trip down the memory lane again, huh?"

He smirks and said, "The rain reminds me of you apparently."

She rolls her eyes. What a Haibara thing to do. "Yes, but you don't have to risk getting sick just to recall events of the past. Seriously, Conan."

He merely chuckles. Really, what a Haibara thing to do.

He then gently pulls her face down to his and plants a soft kiss on her lips. "I thought I had lost you back then, you know."

Suddenly, it dawns on her what he was thinking. She looks at him with clear, blue eyes. "Well, I'm here now."

"I know." Conan's soft expression is melting her heart. "That's why I'm grateful to you."

She looks at him with a quizzical look. "Why so?"

He reaches a hand to hold her cheek and seriously replies, "Because you fought. You stayed. You're here with me now."

"Geez, who are you and what did you do to my boyfriend?"

He laughs, the sound reverberating in her heart. After a while, he seriously says, "I'm serious though. Thank you, Ai."

At that, Haibara Ai smiles softly and this time, it is her who leans down until her lips touch Conan's in a soft kiss. "I love you, too."

That incident is a three-year-old news now, and Conan and Ai have been together since then.

She has survived that potentially fatal shot to her chest. Just barely. But she lives. Now she's with him. And he vows not to let something like that happen again. He vows to protect her for the rest of their second lives as Edogawa Conan and Haibara Ai.

It was raining when Ai came to his life. It was raining when they took down the organization. It was also raining when they realized their feelings for each other (or his feelings for her). It was raining when they got together.

That is why, from now on and for eternity, the rain will always hold a special place in their hearts. Because it is the rain that brought them together. It is the rain that determined their fate.

* * *

Author's Note: Hmm.. I'm not sure this turned out good. I was feeling kind of blue when I wrote this and it was raining when I thought of the plot (hence the themes). I still hope you will like it though. Reviews are appreciated! Thank you!

xoxo

Miss SunnySunshine


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